Most repeat co-founder fights are about two different ways of deciding, trusting and handling risk. The topic changes (a price rise, a hire, a loan); the pattern underneath stays the same. Name the pattern and agree how you will decide, and the topic gets much easier.
When a strong hire leaves early, the cause is often fit with one person, usually their direct manager, rather than the job itself. CVs and interviews test capability. They rarely test how two specific people will decide, give feedback and handle pressure together. Check the pair, not only the person.
“Just be yourself” assumes your default self is the one that leads well. For most leaders, the default is inherited: shaped by early expectations, first bosses and old fears. Bringing it unexamined makes a leader more predictable, not more authentic. The better advice is to see your pattern first, then choose.
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